Mayuri's Catastrophe
by Mayuri Kurotsuchi
Summary: Mayuri finds a helpless kitten on his doorstep. And total chaos spreads through the Soul society! :O
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach...sadly ¬_¬, if i did, Ulquiorra and all the other espada would hav enever died and instead Aizen would be turned into a talking blob :I**

Another winter's day in the Seireitei, another day of cruel and vigorous experimentation in the 12th division.

The captain of said division strolled down the sterile halls, his work done for the day, luckily for the "willing participants" of his daily experimentations.

He turned the corner to his room and let out a yawn, that's when he noticed it, a small bundle of pale white spotted fur, a kitten to be exact.

Mayuri frowned at the small fluff ball that lay right in front of the door, he made a hiss in an attempt to awaken it but to no avail. He stepped closer and kneeled in front of it and prodded it with his long nail, "wake up, I'm feeling generous enough to let you run off this once" he said with a tired sigh.

The fluff began to writhe and the shape of a plump wide eyed kitten was formed, its markings the same as an earthen cheetah with a crimson red tipped tail. Mayuri was speechless as he gazed into its two glistening green and yellow eyes; they were filled with such sadness and fear as they stared back at him.

"Mew..." it was like a whisper, a plea for help. Mayuri jumped back in surprise, confused by his reaction he stood and lightly nudged the kitten with his foot out of the way earning another mew.

As he closed the door behind him he heard the soft pat of paws and the dragging of claws on the other side, "I'm starting to wish i did install that electric fence and mine field...". He sighed away the annoyance and went to have a shower.

His shower now over he put on his night robes and slipped into bed, he wrapped himself in the thick blankets like a caterpillar and dismissed all the thoughts of his next 'wondrous' day.

"...Mew" Mayuri groaned wrapping himself tighter in his blanket. It would have to give up and go somewhere else, right?

"Mew!" Mayuri cringed and popped his head out the blanket, "Stupid feline! Don't MAKE me come out there!"

"...", he smiled and dug his head back into the blanket. He loved winning, even if his enemy was just a small, defenceless...cold...lonely kitten. He sighed to himself, "at least it's quiet now... "He whispered as he closed his eyes.

"MEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" Mayuri rose and slapped his hands to his ears, "No no no! Go away!" he screeched, "MEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWW!" it patted at the door and tried to nuzzle its way underneath the gap.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!? LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE!" he screamed, awakening all the people of the soul society and earning a " . !" from a very pissed off Kenpachi. (And of course he then got a lecture of how 'unfabulous' he was from Yumichika).

"...Mew?" that was it, Mayuri threw himself out of his blankets and stormed to the door, he pulled it open and was going to boot the annoying pest to the next dimension. The kitten looked up to him with a swish of its small but bushy tail, "Mew?" Mayuri had the urge to use the small nuisance for hollow bait, but those eyes, eyes that radiated such sorrow and need, he found himself ensnared in its innocent gaze and he let out a sigh of instant defeat.

"Fine...you can come in, but you're having a bath first! I don't want your feline dirt everywhere!" He picked up the kitten by the scruff and held at his arms length, thinking to himself; "God if Urahara was here, i would never hear the end of it!"

He placed the kitten in the bath and turned on the tap. The water drew closer to the small kitten and it looked at Mayuri with fearful eyes, he looked back with little interest.

Backing into to corner of the bath it mewed and attempted to jump out but was blocked by Mayuri's hand. It seemed to almost glare at him as it turned to face the monstrous wave before it (monstrous wave = 1cm high :I) it puffed up its chest and pounced foreword slapping the water only to regain its previous fear and fly back towards Mayuri's hand for comfort.

"You're scared of water?" he sighed as he took the small body into both hands. He held the kitten and placed it over the now much deeper pool of water, "...And now I'm talking to a cat...great". It squirmed in his hands but he kept a gentle grip on it, he lowered it slowly and it mewed, its eyes watering, "I swear, i need eyes like those, then i could get my way with everything... Just stay calm, i won't let you go" he said softly, the kitten stopped its fidgeting, and rested its paws on his hands in an almost human like gesture.

"Damn feline..."

20 minutes had passed and the bath was now finally over, the problem? There was now an extremely soaked kitten to dry. And Mayuri shuddered at the thought of taking more time off his sleep, he needed a quick solution. "...Hmmm...Ahh! That will work" he said with a grin as he scooped the kitten into his arms.

Walking through the divisions labs he stopped at a huge see-through open topped cube with a white metal mesh bottom, Mayuri placed the kitten on the centre where it sat patiently and licked at its paws and rubbed its face. He pushed a button located on the main computer and a strange hum sounded below the kitten's feet.

The kitten looked down through the mesh and saw spinning fan like blades and before it could manage a noise it was swept off its feet and began to glide freely in the air.

"MEW!?" it squealed in a mixture of confusion of fear, "Don't worry!" Mayuri said with chuckle as he prodded at the kitten that was currently running upside down, it began to spin and let out a "Mee-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow".

Mayuri turned off the turbines slowly and watched as the kitten landed with a 'poof', he stepped over to the cube and reached towards the kitten but was stopped by a sudden 'pzzt' noise; he blinked and burst out laughing.

"Hehe! you look so silly!" the Kitten, now a giant ball of static fluff, looked at him, totally unamused, with a frown as it strutted towards him and raised its arms up as if to say, ""pick me up, worthless slave!", and that he did.

They returned to his room and he made a bed out of little box and a old torn captain coat, "you can sleep here" he said as he gently placed it in the box, he yawned and turned off the light, retreating back into the comfort of his bed.

*THUD*

". . ."

*THUD*

"HMMMPF!..."

*THUD*

"OH FOR SCIENCE SAKE!" He sat up with a huff but blinked as he saw a silhouette of two ears at the end of his bed.

*THUD*, the noise of the kittens desperate attempts to scale his bed, it mewed in defeat and Mayuri sighed.

...

...

*THUD!* "EEEK!" The thud was right beside him this time and he groaned as he reached for the little pest, he plopped it beside him on the bed and said with a sleepish slur "can i sleep now?", "Mew", "I'm just going to imagine that as a yes..." He mumbled and he instantly passed into a deep sleep, feeling a strange warmth next to his heart.

**Next chapter to be submit...in a minute don't rush meeeeee :U**


	2. Chapter 2

The morning came like every other, a blinding light to his eyes, he grumbled and noticed a figure standing next to the bed.

"Mayuri sama, there is a captains meeting and you have overslept" Nemu said her usual monotone voice, he jumped out of bed doing his make-up, headdress (his second style ;]) and getting into his captains clothing, with no time to spare he ran out the room and headed towards the 1st division.

"That was some odd dream last night..." he mumbled to himself, but if it was a dream why is he feeling so damn tired?

He opened the door and stepped in hastily, noticing he was the last to arrive, "sorry I'm late" he said as he took his place next to Kenpachi. He noticed Kenpachi was glaring at him with a murderous intent, "why are you looking at me like that?", "your screaming woke up Yachiru, she made me play 'tea parties' and 'dress up Kenny'" He growled as some of the other captains laughed.

The commander slammed down his staff, "silence!" "-i kill you!" came a hasty comment from behind the main door, "Ikkaku, I will be seeing to it that you do all the 4th divisions chores if you start this again", "W-what!? K-Kenpachi wouldn't let that happen, right Ken?", "...Make sure you wear an apron!" a sob was heard and all the captains gave a sigh of relief, they didn't want another meeting trolled by the bald nuisance.

"Now, for the reason of this meeting...Kenpachi stop acting like a child and listen!" Yamamoto screeched at the captain who was currently towering over Hitsugaya letting a line of spit dangle over him, he straightened himself up and looked at the commander innocently, "Eh? I have no idea what you're talking about"

"...Unohana, dear, would you please take Kenpachi to your division and brief him on how he is to clean ALL the streets and walls of the Seireitei "He said sweetly, ignoring the very distraught and screaming man before him."Of course! Come with me, Kenny" She said with a smile, those smiles hid something truly evil behind them.

"NO! NOOO! I can't clean the streets! They all look the same and i will get lost damn it! This is so damn unfair!"He stomped his foot with anger and Yamamoto sighed, "Then be silent, and stop annoying your fellow captains!"

Kenpachi remained silent, no way is cleaning ANYTHING, ever, and Yumichika was the 'Happy housemaid' of his division after all. Weirdo.

"Now, the reason for this meeting concerns the disappearance of lieutenant Arabai's sword spirit and also the rise of hollows being ... "The room when silent but a clear growl was heard coming from Komamura as he stepped towards Mayuri, who blinked in confusion."Komamura what do you think you're doing" he said backing away, "Your head dress! It moved! What are you hiding? What strange experiment are you plotting!?" he bared his teeth in a snarl and reached a hand towards the offending accessory

It ruffled visibly and all the captains squealed, Mayuri blinked and placed a hand on the area of the disturbance, "Mew!" His eyes widened to an almost impossible size and he let out a "meep!"

With a poof a small kitten head popped out the top and let out a yawn, "I knew it! He's a cyborg controlled by a cat mastermind!" Shunsui waved his arms but used Ukitake for support from his sudden dizziness, "Shunsui, what did i say about sake in the morning?" Ukitake placed his hand on his friends back, "oh, 'act sober, and if anyone asks, Nanao used me as target practise'...heehee! I should check on her! 3" he giggled and skipped out the hall, hearts and rainbows emanating from him.

"..."

"..."

"...I feel sorry for Nanao..." Byakuya said softly, the others nodded and looked back at the commander and their eyes widened, "HE FELL ASLEEP AGAIN!?" Kenpachi screamed. They all decided the meeting was over and started to go their separate ways.

Mayuri walked down the wide empty street towards his division but couldn't help but feel followed, he turned to see Komamura towering above him.

"W-what the hell!?" He screamed and jumped back and the giant wolf snarled, "What are you going to do with that cat?" he barked, "why would you care!? I'm just going to dispose of it later anyway!"He spat at the wolf that then grabbed Mayuri by his coat and lifted him up. "You will do no such thing! You will take care of this kitten as if it were your own! "He growled.

Mayuri blinked, "uh...okay?" Komamura released his grip letting him fall to his feet, "good, this kitten obviously likes you!"He said as he petted it with a single finger earning a purr "animals never judge your deeds or rank, they love you purely because they trust you with their delicate lives..." Komamura looked at Mayuri with a smile, "you need something like that more than anything!"

Mayuri waved Komamura goodbye and he finally returned to his division, he walked past all his co-workers and entered his room. He removed his headdress, placing it on his desk and glared as the kitten pounced out and reached out its stubby paws towards him. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone, i will never be respected again after that!" he growled, his hands clenched into fists. "I should just dump you in a vat of acid and forget i even found you!" he shouted slamming his fist beside the kitten.

It bounced back in fear, its ears folded back and eyes watering with fear, "M-mew?" it squeaked as it slowly walked over to his hand and licked at the cut opened unnoticeably by Mayuri's long nail. "Blood?...OH SHIT BLOOD!" he picked up the kitten with haste and ran to the lab.

"Captain? Are we studying cats now? I know you despise Yoruichi...but isn't this going too far?" Akon rubbed the back of his head trying to figure out what his captain was planning. "OOH OHHHHH! Can i eat it!?" Hiyosu said with eager eyes and a line of drool flowing from his mouth, "Hiyosu you really don't look like you need it...", "you calling me fat!? How dare you! You-you nincompoop!", "...really?", "SHUT UP!", "...make me", "NO! JUST !", "...retarded frog faced loser...", "OH MY GOD! OH MY- CAPTAIN! AKON'S BEING A TURD FACE AGAIN!"

"SILENCE!" (Somewhere far away, Ikkaku screamed "I KILL YOOOOUUU!") "...that's just plain creepy", both assistants nodded in agreement.

"The kitten drank some of my blood, i have to give it the cure" he placed it on the examination table and took out a syringe filled with a glowing purple liquid from a locked draw, its metal tip glinting evilly.

As Mayuri approached the kitten it hissed and swiped at the syringe and reared up on its bottom and swiped the air around it in a panicked frenzy.

"Captain, shouldn't it be paralyzed already? Maybe even dead?" Akon stated looking at his captain. "...it must be...immune" he smiled, "are you not going to study it to find out why?", "no...I'm happy just knowing it's going to be okay.." he said putting the syringe away and picking up the kitten, craddaling it in his arms like a baby as he walked back to his room.

"HEHE! Akon! I see your replacement! And it's a cat too!", "...Hiyosu", "YEAH?!", "...shut up" (Hiyosu sits in his emo corner...XD)

Once back to his room he got himself ready for bed, he slid under the blankets and watched as the kitten snuggled into his chest and let out a soft purr, "...I guess Komamura was right" he whispered as they both fell to sleep.

Meanwhile at the 1st divisions meeting hall, "...Now! As i was saying!..." Yamamoto blinked, "Why those little whipper-snappers!", he looked down at his staff, his eyes widening at its pink hue, "KENPACHI!"

**Next time on Mayuri's Catastrophe! IKKAKU IS NO LONGER BALD! *le gasp!***


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: Yachiru knows ALL your secrets :I (XD)**

Bright light flooded his room and he wrapped himself and the kitten in the blankets. the soft pat of small feet trailed its way to the end of the bed and he felt a light body pounce on him, his eyes widened and he put a finger to the kittens mouth his eyes saying, "Don't move, speak even breath, the monster has acute eye sight and hearing" (how the hell did he do that with his eyes? o.o)

"MAYO! KENNY SAID YOU HAVE A KITTY! CAN I PLAY WITH IT!? PRETTY PLEASE!?",". . .", the pink haired blob scrunched her face in annoyance "KENNY! MAYO IS BEING MEAN!". Both the kitten's and Mayuri's eyes widened, she brought Kenpachi, and whatever she wanted, he got.

Mayuri sat up sending Yachiru flying at Kenpachi's chest where she clinged and crawled around on him like a possessed squirrel. "Have you two got ANY comprehension of the meaning of privacy?" he said with great annoyance.

"Tsk, like i care, I'm just here for the cat, Yachiru wouldn't stop pestering me for it" He groaned, watching as Yachiru found the unfortunate fluff ball. "OH MY GOD KENNY IT'S SO CUTE! What is its name Mayo?" she chirped holding the kitten under its arms and letting its body dangle.

"Name?...i never gave it one...", Kenpachi seemed to frown and said in a angered tone, "you ass, your supposed to name animals or kids you adopt!". Mayuri sighed...what would he name it?, "OH! We should name her Zabi!" The two men looked at each other then the squealing pink blob, "Where did you get name from, 'Chiru? And how do you know it's a she?", "She told me silly!", "I guess...Zabi is a nice name...take care of her" Mayuri sighed and the girl jumped up and down screaming with joy.

As the two left Zabi popped over Yachiru's shoulder and reached out as if saying, "Nyuu! Save meeee!", he waved a goodbye, his way of saying "sorry ;3;"

Yachiru jumped onto her giant partners shoulder and they made their way to the 11th division. Kenpachi's bells chimed as he walked and the kitten watched them with awe, it swiped its paw slightly towards them and Yachiru giggled evilly making her transport stop, " 'Chiru, you know i get nervous when you laugh like that" he said recalling the last evil she schemed, he never wants to hear the word 'unicorn' ever...EVER, again.

"Hehe! Don't worry Kenny! I was thinking of what games i could play with Baldie!" she giggled. Zabi swiped at the bells when Kenpachi began to walk again. It was going to be long day, he sighed.

Once they reached the 11th division gates Yachiru lunged foreword, Zabi in hand. "BALDIE! CHICKEN! I HAVE THE KITTY! EEEEEE!" She ran around the division at unmanageable speed and stopped fully after finding her targets, Zabi mewed from the instant change in gravity.

"Lieutenant, haven't i told you before not to call me that? Its Yumi-chika", he sighed as he gracefully moved his hair from his eyes (...Kenpachi gives his, "if only i had some clippers" face)

"Yeah! And don't call me baldie!", "yumi-CHIKEN. And Baldie, you will always be bald, okay Baldie?" she smiled as she patted his head but her eyes glittered with evil intent, "Uhh...Capt'n why does Yachiru have her evil face on?" he whimpered and Yumichika scooted to a safe distance, but truthfully, nowhere is safe, Yachiru will find you no matter where you hide.

"HAT!" she squealed as she laid the cat on his head, he and Zabi blinked at each other, "Why...is there a cat... on my head?", "because! Now! You are no longer bald!" she paused, "Nickname...must...think" both Yumi and Ikkaku looked at each other then too their captain who was grinning madly, Ikkaku began to pray in his mind.

"Ay, 'Chiru, how about..." he leaned down and whispered into the girl's ear and her eyes sparkled, "i here by name you!" she held her arms up high "Lady Gaga!" (...Yes, Lady Gaga is a bald man with a cat-wig. And bad dancing skills :I)

Kenpachi and Yumichika fell to the floor with laughter and Ikkaku sat there like a stunned rabbit. He lifted Zabi off his head and placed her on the floor beside him,"HEY LOOK! Baldies back!", Ikkaku and Yumichika gave a judgemental stare.

Zabi pranced over to Kenpachi who was currently laying on his back, she pulled her body close to the floor and pulled back her ears, her eyes dilated as her tail wiggled furiously. Before he could manage a word she leaped at the hair and latched on like Velcro as he jumped up and ran around the 11th division.

"GET IT OFF - GET IT OFF - GET IT OFF" was all they heard as he ran by a blinding speed.

"Ya think e should help him?", "oh no, it's good to let the captain get some exercise", "...I'm bored...OH! Let's have a tea party!" Yachiru glowed with happiness; the two shocked shinigami looked at each other with pure fear and screamed in unison, "KENPACHI!"

**Sorry its so short, i didnt want to do a giant crack chapter! XD**

**Have a idea for the next chapter? PM meeeee! XD**

**Otherwise, Byakuya is the next to suffer! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I donk own bleach, Kubo does .-.**

**Kubo: LOL! I TROLL YOU ALL! :D**

…**. ¬~¬'**

The door slammed open as Zabi lay nestled in the waves of bedding that was wrapped around her. Her head popped up and she gave a silent yawn, as her eyes cleared slowly she recognized the one who disturbed her slumber. Mayuri paced around the room with an angered expression, his lips curled into a snarl as he muttered to himself.

Her ears perked foreword and she mewed softly to gain his attention. He turned on his heel mid pace to gaze at the kitten, his angered eyes softening to those that showed inner turmoil. She bunny hopped over to the corner of the bed and stretched out her paw to eagerly swat at him. He smiled slightly and kneeled before her, stroking small circles into the fur on her head making her purr dreamily.

"I...don't know what to do, kitty...I-I went to a urgent meeting and it turns out…that idiot, Arabai has lost his Zanpakuto..." He groaned as he crossed his arms on the bed and sunk his head low. Zabi mewed and nuzzled at his face softly and climbed into his arms. "That idiot..." he sighed.

"Heh...K-kitty...I know people think I'm just the mad scientist that kills entire races and sees human lives as nothing but my tools..." She looked up to him with confused eyes as he sniffed slightly.

"The truth is...yes. Its what I am, I'm the 'maniacal mad scientist'. But I've fallen...no longer do I see lives as mine to control...She did this...she is the embodiment of perfection in a world so broken and lost" He paused and frowned deeply "but now she's gone. D-DAMN THAT FOOL ARABAI! I should have taken her away for myself! Now she's lost…alone...I just cant allow it!" He growled and caused vibrations through the kittens' small frame and she let out a small squeak.

"I'm sorry...I just have no one to really talk to these days and its hurts to keep things bottled up inside…" He nuzzled into the kittens soft fur, it smelled like a combination of cherries and candy. He pulled back and blinked, he shook his head and sighed as to dismiss the memories that arose because of the heavenly aroma.

"Well... I have to help join the search. I will be leaving you with the 10th division" He lifted the kitten in his arms and smiled slightly to her as he exited the 12th division and made his way to the 10th.

He knocked lightly at the door as Zabi curled tighter into his hold. "Come in" Came the annoyed response. Mayuri opened the door to see Hitsugaya at his desk with a mountain of paperwork and Rangiku lazily splayed over hers with a puddle of drool trailing from her as she snored at a loudness that even deaf people would hear. Hitsugaya growled at her and turned to lock eyes with Mayuri. " . !" he growled and Mayuri couldn't help but giggle slightly at the 'adult', he set Zabi on the chair in front of Rangiku's desk and gave her one last pet. He turned to exit and grinned at Hitsugaya "Take care of her Mini-Taicho, or I will make sure you regret it!". Hitsugaya twitched and ignored the insult, "Yes Kurotsuchi taicho, you can leave now".

The door closed and an awkward silence broken only by Rangiku's snores filled the room. Zabi cringed and glared at the woman and her drool covered desk. She climbed the chair and leapt down to Rangiku's desk. The woman's snores were so loud that Zabi swore it was ringing around in her head and she hissed at the annoyance. She raised a paw and extended her claws; she then sank them into Rangiku's shoulder.

Rangiku shot up with a yelp and sent Zabi hurtling towards Hitsugaya and she collided with his face, she instantly dug in her claws making the mini-taicho scream in shock- only to pause and regain his posture. Even Byakuya would have been proud.

"Rangiku, would you please keep this cat away from me while I do the paperwork?" he had pulled Zabi off his face and dangled her over his desk by her scruff. She shivered as she felt a strange chill flow through her and pulled her tail and paws to her stomach.

"Aww! But Hitsu-chan! Its good for you to play with lil' fluffy critters!" Rangiku skipped to her taicho's desk flopped onto it, sending the paperwork flying.

"RANGIKU! You know that took me forever! AND STOP CALLING ME 'HITSU-CHAN' " he growled as his eyes twitched with anger. He had dropped Zabi and she trailed over to the ink vial, unnoticed by the two bickering 'adults'. She dipped her paw into the black water like substance and wiggled her toes. She brought it out and brought it too her face, the chemical smell made her nose twitch with disgust. She shook her paw violently and black blobs of ink were spread around her, she also managed to knock over the ink vial in her attempt to rid herself of the black stain.

"And I don't need your advice on how to live my – WHAT THE HELL!?" Hitsugaya jumped out his chair and glared at the kitten that sat in a black mess upon his desk. "GAH! All my work! Ruined!" he screeched and Rangiku giggled. "Come on Hitsugaya! Just relax! You need to stop worrying and being such a lil' work horse and do something fun!"

He sighed, slightly annoyed by his wasted work "Fine…as much as I think this is a waste of my time, it might help keep you off my back for a while at least…. what's considered fun these days?" he watched her skip to her desk and rummage through her draws, what she help up made both Hitsugaya and Zabi stare at her like she was insane.

"SAKE PAR-TAY! WOO!" she shoved one bottle into his arms and picked up Zabi to fling her over her shoulder.

"I'm going to regret this…" He gulped and took his first small sip, Rangiku watched with an amused smirk as she downed her own bottle.

_**~Meanwhile at the 80**__**th**__** district~**_

Mayuri stormed down the dirt path that had run down scrap houses on either side, he felt multiple sets of eyes stare at him from the darkness, but one caught his attention.

"What's a clean freak like you doin' here? You hoping for easy test subjects? Pfft.." The mans words echoed throughout the shadows as he stepped foreword into the light.

"You know very well why I'm here, Zaraki" the other grinned and stepped closer. Without any warning Mayuri punched Kenpachi's chest only to flinch from the impact. "Heh! You call that punch?! You punch like a girl, actually, that's an insult to girls!" he chuckled. Mayuri grabbed onto his hair and yanked him down making him yelp in surprise.

"Where is she!? I know you are the one who kidnapped her! Now tell me before I castrate you here and now!" he snarled and pulled harder, the bells falling off with a soft 'ting' as they landed on the ground.

"Mayuri! Get the fuck off me! If you haven't realized I'm looking for her too!" He pulled from Mayuri's grip and hissed at the annoying pain he inflicted. He glared at Mayuri but softened his gaze when he saw how lost Mayuri seemed.

"You moron, you know I would never do anything like that too her!" he stepped closer to see Mayuri frown and growl.

"And I would like you to keep what it is you DO do with her to yourself…the less I know the more of a chance I wont perform a sex change operation on you…or just kill you…whichever is more amusing to me".

"M-mayuri, were only friends! No need to get defensive!" Kenpachi rubbed the back of his neck nervously as Mayuri directed his gaze to his single eye.

"If your only friends, why would you assume she would be at **your** district? Why of all the districts would she be **here**?"

"Well…Hell I don't know! I just want to find her and fighting here won't help! Besides I think I found out what happened to her…" Mayuri blinked and his frown deepened. "What do you mean '**happened**' ?"

Kenpachi sighed, an odd smile pulling at his lips, "well, you see…"

_**~Back at the 10**__**th**__** division office~**_

Hitsugaya sat in an origami castle that Rangiku was pelting with soaked paper balls. Zabi sat on the Mini-taicho's desk that was covered in dry ink. Rangiku fashioned a cape out of her scarf and the kitten stood proudly (and drunk…on one of Rangiku's 'catnip sake' treats) the cape flowed behind her as she leapt and rolled in the air towards the paper castle. The wall fell to her 'cannonball' dive.

"Nyaa! 'Giku! No fairsss! You had tha' kitty on your shide!" Hitsugaya hiccupped with a slur, his mind fogged by the sake. Rangiku giggled as she hit his head softly with the bottom of her bottle. "Aww! Don't be such a bad loser!"

They both chuckled, then there was a knock at the door. Hitsugaya's eyes widened "W-who's tha'?" he cursed inside at his incapability to even say the most simple of things.

"Its Arabai Fukutaicho, Soutaicho ordered me to take care of the kitten for you so you can work in peace"

"…Oh…kay…come ins then!" Hitsugaya gave up with trying to hide his drunkenness as Renji entered the room. Renji looked like he hadn't slept in days and his hair was in more of a mess than usual. He looked at the mini-taicho and almost roared out with laughter.

"Uh, are you…drunk?" he snorted, his usual brightness returning at some degree.

"Nyeh…Maybe…yes…Pfff-! Jusss take the kitty before 'Giku uses her to cheat again!" Zabi popped her head from the ruble of the paper castle as she felt she was mentioned. She heaved her way out and patted her way towards the Redhead.

"Heh, sure. Just don't party to late after bedtime!" Hitsugaya sent a bone-chilling glare at Renji, so cold that Rangiku hung her bottle of sake next to his face to see if it cooled it down. Renji scooped up the kitten and fled out the room and towards his barracks.

"Hitsu-chaaaaan! Lets play strip poker!"

"AWW HELL NUU!"

**A/N**

**Sorry for taking so long to update . **

**But nyeeeaaah…its almost over! XD**

**Now review or I will chop down your house with a herring :I**


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